The trying - May 30th 2013

Usually on a Thursday I'd go to baby club in the morning, but it being half term it's not on. Which in a way was a good thing meant I got to sleep for a little bit longer.
My little woke up at about half 7 for a bottle, so I feed him downstairs instead of in bed. After feeding him we both feel asleep in the sofa and then didn't wake till about half 9. I do love it when he lets me sleep in a little.

I thought about making the chicken soup tonight that hubby asked for last night, but to be honest I don't either of us want chicken two days in a row. Not sure what else to do for dinner. Maybe Tuna and pasta, but I have no cucumber. I'll just have to do it without.

Ok onto cycle day, so tmi warning  Today is cycle day 12. My OPKs are getting darker, not yet positive. My CM has now changed from creamy to watery, which according to charting it means my body is getting ready to ovulate. (I think). Had a little bit of cramping today. We baby danced last night, out a bit of the blue. It was that whole 3am thing. You know? where you go to hug your other half and suddenly they want sex. Yep it was one of those moments. Not complaining it had been a few days since the last time. My temp has now gone back down to 36.3 after it being 36.7 yesterday.

Tomorrow I am dreading, although hubby has not got work because he booked it off, but he booked it off so he could come with me to take our little guy for his second lot of jabs. I hate seeing him in pain. Although last time he only cried for a little while I still hated it.

Still waiting on a letter from Clearblue. I was hoping to have had it by now. I know we have just had a bank holiday so it would take a little longer, but I really thought it would have been here. If I don't get it tomorrow I think I'll have to ring them up and ask about it.

I should really get something to eat, it's almost 4pm and I'm yet to eat. ooppps. On that note I better go and actually eat. Tomorrow's post will be a little later due to taking little one for his jabs :(

The trying - May 29th 2013

As usually nothing much has happened today.
I took a walk down to where I used to work, my supervisor was there, she kept saying how cute my little boy is and how much he has grown. It's hard to believe 12 weeks ago today, at this time I was in the hospital waiting for a spare special cot for my son just in case he needed it. I think I was reading at the time.

Well today is cycle day 11. My temp has gone up by about 0.5 Celsius, I think that might be because my body is getting ready to ovulate. I have had some ovulation cramping, OPKs are negative. Which is to be expected for cycle day 11. I'm expecting the positive some point over the weekend.
My back as not being hurting as much as it has over the last few days, still hurts a little but not as much.

Tried doing some more housework today, managed to tidy the table and hoover before the little woke up again. As soon as hubby came home, he dumped his stuff everywhere as usual.
He did asked if I can make my chicken soup again, after I told him we have chicken for dinner. Told him although I brought fresh chicken (not frozen) it wasn't the chicken I could use for the soup.
So we have Chinese chicken, chips and curry baked beans for dinner. Something a little different I guess.

As usually hubby has come home and gone on his xbox, although he did have a shower before going on his xbox, and he has just done the washing up. It was his turn and I refused to do it, as its meant to be one of the shared jobs.
Dinner is smelling good and should almost be done so I am off to go check on it and hopefully i'll have a bit more to write about tomorrow. Oh I lead such an exciting life *rolls eyes*

The trying - May 28th 2013

I am so amazed to see that since starting my blog it's now reach just over 300 views. Not sure if that is good for a blog that's been going about a month.
Usually on a Tuesday I would have gone to weigh in group in the mornings and in the afternoons baby massage group. Well my little one doesn't need to be weighed every week anymore, just every other. Baby massage group fininshed last week, so that's not going anymore. Which is a shame because I enjoyed going to that. Even normal baby group is not on this week because it is half term here.

My little one was lovely this morning, he woke up at about 5 half 5 for hugs and then didn't wake up till i went to get up at about 9. He did wake up at about 1 though for a bottle which he doesn't do often, We've now started to put him to bed a little earlier then we used to, It dose mean i have to go up with him. I don't usually go to sleep though. We do have a baby monitor, i don't really like using it though. As its one of those on with the mat that you put on baby's bed. I've heard so many stories of them going off falsely, which makes me a little scared to use it.

Today is cycle day 10 of our first cycle actaully trying. For the past few days i've been getting AF like cramps which is a little unusual for me. Its making me think i might ovulate earlier then normal. Its usually day 14 or 15 that i would ovualate. I have been doing OKPs for the past 3 days. All negative of course.
So now my little is actaully asleep, for how long i don't but i need to do a little housework......Oh nope he's awake. My little guy really dose not sleep enough, i don't think.
He has his second lot of jabs on Friday. Luckly hubby has taken the day of so he can come in with me, and hold our son while he gets the jabs done.

The trying - May 27th 2013

I havan't posted all weekend, it's been fairly busy and by the time we got home i was pretty tired.
OK lets start with Saturday.

I was meant to be going out with some ladies on my patch but didn't feel ready to leave my son for that long. Instead me and hubby went to watch "The Hangover 3", while our little one stayed at hubby's parents. We were gone about 3 and a half hours, which is quite a bit less then i would have been if i had gone out with the ladies.
Saturday morning we helped hubby's mum with her food shop. After me and his mum went to Asda instead of our local town, just because it was something different we had a sneaky McDonald's. I told hubby and he was like "right you owe me 3 McDonald's now". I am really surprised I'm not bigger then i am. I am a 10, so I'm not over weight, but sometimes i look at my self and think i want my flat belly back. So when hubby is at work and little one is sleeping i think I'll have to break out the Kinct and some of my work out dvds.

Sunday, I got my tattoo done, it hurt quite a bit. I so would not recommend getting a tattoo done on your leg if it's your first. Not a whole lot happen yesturday to be honest. We got home at about 8pm, and ended up playing COD with hubby and a few friends. I do enjoy playing, means i kinda get to spend time with hubby. even though i end up playing it in the bedroom while he plays it in the living room on the bigger TV.

Anyway now to today. well it's almost midday so i am writing my post earlier then usually, it's also a sunny bank hoilday monday, The second one this year. We hardly ever have a sunny bank hoilday. Most of the time it ends up raining. Later we are back off to the in-laws for dinner. We are having chicken wraps yum yum. Me, hubby and little one might be of in to town later, not sure about that one yet. It might be another late night getting back. meaning we might not get back till gone 8 again.

As i have nothing else to write about i will fininsh with a photo of my new tattoo. Actually no i won't hubby is playing COD online and he will moan that i am making him lag. As he'll be at work tomorrow, if i remember i will post a photo of it then.

The trying - May 24th 2013

I woke this morning with my phone ringing, Thinking to myself I'm pretty sure i did not set an alarm, i looked at my phone seeing a number i did not know. When i answered it, i was surprised to hear that it was clearblue, saying i am in the trail to test a new product. I really thought that i would not get chosen to do it, I know so many people would have applied. Hubby dose not know yet as he didn't do his lunch time text. Doing this trail means having to store pee in the fridge. Don't really like the idea of doing that but if it's all for the trail then fair enough.

Managed to do a little bit of house work in the 15 minutes my son slept. He's 12 weeks I'm pretty sure he's meant to sleep longer then that and more then 2 or 3 times a day. I think today is going to be a short one, not a lot has happened, the most exciting thing that has happened is the phone call i had this morning.

Well it being the UK once again it's been raining. I would say i wish the weather would make it's mind up, but the UK has two weather systems, where as everyone else has one that controls their weather. I know we don't have the worst weather in the world, but from what i get ours can be a little harder to predict. I know the US gets some really bad weather, I sometimes wish we'd get their snow, not so much everything else, you can keep that, sorry :).

Have you ever watched a baby sleep and wonder what the hell they are dreaming of. My little one is pulling some right old strange faces at the moment.

Oh yea, in a few of my posts you would have read that on the 25th I'm meant to be going out, last night i was thinking and realised I'm really not ready to leave my little one for that long or to be that far apart from him. 8 till 3 is a long time to be away from a baby, Bordon to Guildford is quite a distance to be apart from him as well. Like i said he's only 12 weeks old he's too young for me to be apart from him that, i'm not ready to leave him that long. My confidence also plays apart in it as well. So instead of me going out with some ladies i don't really know, i'm going to watch the hangover 3 with the hubby instead. At then i'm only away from my son for 3 to 4 hours at the most.

The trying - May 23rd 2013

Ok so today i'm starting with some sad news, You all will have heard about the forces being out in Afgan, they have been now for a pretty long time, well sadly yesturday one our men was killed in Woolwich London, when he was off duty, Whether the killer knew he was in the army or not is not know as far as i know. He was wearing a help for heros t-shit. From the news i have read the killer shouted out "we will never stop fighting for you Allah". Pretty much everyone i know had changed their profile picture to that of our flag or armed forces colours to recpets the soilder and his family. It makes you think what is the world coming to when a soilder can't even be safe in his/her own country.

Ok so changing the subjet as i feel like i'm going to cry, despite the fact i don't actaully know the soilder, my husband is in the forces so it scares me to think that it could have been him. It scare me to think that some soilders seem to be safer on tour then at home. I know it dosen't happen often here, and i really do feel the places where it dose sadly happen to often.

Really changing the subject. A few days ago i said that i had ordered some OPKs and pregnancy tests. They turned up this morning i know have enough for a good 4 5 cycles most likly more. I have 30 OPKs and 25 pregnancy tests. So plenty to last. Where i am going to store that many i'm not sure, i think in my top draw. makes sense. I don't have any draws in my bathroom so no where to put them in there.

Today is my mum-in-laws birthday, so this evening we are off to see her. We had no idea what to get her for her birthday. She loves baking so we go her a wisk, one of those ones that you hold and it has a handle on it that spins the wisks so you don't have to, which we thought would be perfect as sometimes her arm plays up.

The weather started of really nice today. Although it was not quite warm enough not to have a coat. We took a walk to baby clun this morninig, My little was such a happy baby when we got there making so many of his happy sounds. I'm glad i got home when i did, about 20 minutes after i had got home it started to chuck it down. pretty much the whole raining cats and dogs thing. At the moment it seems to be heavy showers.  I really hope this is not going to be another wet year, Well as wet as last year anyways. Not alot happens now days, like i said yesturday it's pretty much the same thing day in day out. So with that i'm off to think about whether people actaully do read my blog or whether its just a skim read or a quick look. Well at least my views are going up, The last time i looked it was on 274 views. Not to bad.

The trying - May 22nd 2013

Feeling a little down today. The other day i applied to be in the clearblue trial and have heard nothing back. I kinda knew i wouldn't i'm not a lucky person. This is the first trail i have applied for though. would have been nice to hear something, just because of how long it took to fall pregnant with my son. I'm just worried that it will take a long time for it to happen again. At the moment i feel like i want to cry. Don't get me wrong i love my son to pieces he's the best birthday present i could have ever asked for. Oh yea don't know if i said before but i found out 3 days before my birthday i was pregnant.
With all the opk's i have coming i'm hoping i won't have to use them all. I have 30 coming and 25 pregnancy tests all for under a tenner. I think i said that yesturday but i just think its a bargin price, and hubby dosen't have to worry about me asking to buy pregnancy test every time i'm in the two week wait.
I think what else dosen't help with how i feel at the moment is that fact that i'm not working anymore. Working was getting me out of the house everyday and even though it was the same thing everyday sometimes something intresting would happen. Now i'm a stay at home mum, i'm finding doing the same thing day in day out a little hard. One thing that makes all that better is when my little boy smiles, He has the cutest smile, it just makes everything else no matter anymore.

I'm kinda worried about going out on saturday, i know that it's not going to be the kind of music i'm like. I think by the shoes i was talking about yesturday you might be able to guess the type of music i'm into.

Nothing has really happened today, its wedensday nothing ever happens on a wednesday. My little one is asleep and theres nothing on the TV, as soon as i start doing some house work he usally wakes up so have to wait till hubby gets home before i can start. I do need to print some photos off but have not worked out how to use windows 8 yet and thats what hubbys pc uses. I would use my laptop but it won't connect to the printer.

The trying - May 21st 2013

Well it's Tuesday so if you have read a few of my posts to this blog then you know that Tuesday's are the days i get my little boy weighed. Last week he had only put on 4oz which made him come away from the 0.4 centile line. At today's weigh in he weighed in at 8lb 7.5oz meaning he has put on almost 1lb in a week and to top that off he is now on the 0.4 centile which also means i now have to get him weigh every 2 weeks instead of every week. The health visitor we saw was really pleased with his weight gain and said that I've done a really good job trying to get his weight up.

This afternoon we went to the last baby massage group. Only 4 of us were there this week. My little one was showing off. He was showing everyone what a clever little boy he his. Rolling over from front to back, lifting his head and shoulders off the ground and holding it there, and he did some little smiles. I can't believe he is 12 weeks on Thursday, it dose mean this time 12 weeks ago i check and double checking i had everything for my induction all the drinks and snacky foods as i had no idea how long i would be in there. When i went in on the day of induction i was left waiting around for a while to be told they couldn't do it that day as they has no spare speical beds for my little. I was then given a choice of either going home or staying, i decided to stay as i didn't want to have to wait for yet another phone call to them call them and have the whole thing start again. It was just after 9 the next morning when they started me off. About an hour after they started me off the contractions started. It started off at about every 5 minutes but with constint pains in my hips. 6 hours after they started me off i had to have the second pesarine, about half an hour after that my contractions went straight down to every 28 seconds, i was put on a fetal monitor for about an hour and a half, my little ones heart rate kept dropping and stopped a few times, when it got to the next 6 hour mark they broke my waters, My little one started to get more stressed as the contractions got more painful, About half hour to an hour after they broke my waters i was being told that i had to have a c-section. With-in 20 minutes of being told that i was being preped for the c-section and at 11:32pm my son was born, weighing a tiny 4lb 6oz.

Looking at him now you'd think he's about a month old, it's hard to believe he's almost 3 months and just coming out of up to 1 month clothing, he's almost in 0-3 clothing.
I think he's having a good dream right now, he keeps smiling. I do love how cute his smile is, i can't wait to hear him laugh for the first time.

The trying - May 20th 2013

Well this morning my lovely son woke us up at 10 to 5 this morning actaully for a bottle this time. After he didn't wake till just after 9.  So i guess thats not too bad. Having a bit of a fat day today. Every now and then i get days where i do feel like i'm bigger then i am. I know i'm not fat everyone keeps telling me that i'm not but when you get in that state of mind it's hard to believe anything else.

Like i've been saying for a few weeks i'm going out on saturday, i feel like i need to lose the rest of my baby fat before i go out, my dress dose not do a good job of hiding it. It makes my hips look big. Its meant to be one of thoses dresses that are great for pear shapped people but i'm finding that its not, it dose nothing for my tummy area or hips, but it is a lovely dress, still need to figure out what i'm going to do with my hair and find the shoes i plan on wearing. I think i know where they are. Most likly under the stairs, where all my shoes are.

They say ladies love their shoes, i'm more of a bag and purse type of girl. i have 2 pairs of Airwalks, I love my Airwalks they are so comft, i always buy the same ones. I have 4 heels, one i wore at my wedding, one i wore at my wedding recpection, 1 i brought for when i went on hoilday and have worn out a few times, and my favourite pair i have worn once out and a few times around the house TMI warning for "play time". Like i said they are my favourite, they are Iorn fist heels, black with deep pink skulls on them a 4 inch heel with a little bit of a platform. They are difficult to walk in because i'm used the 3 inch heels but i love them none the less, The were an annisvasry present from hubby a few years back.

Ok so last night i was on baby and bump a really good site for all those trying and pregnant and all those going through a tuff time for something baby related, anyway on there i came across a intresting post about a trail. So i thought why not, i've never done one before, theres a first for everything and i know the company doing the trail is trusted, if i get picked it would be a bonus. If i don't it dosen't matter.

Oh I do have a lovely son, early i changed his nappy as you do it was about 10 minutes later that he  decided that he was going to take a dump so had to change him again. he's done that twice already today and i think he's just done it again. he's either farted or taken another dump. if it has it will be his third today. Hubby is not due home for another hour or so, i was hoping my little one would save his poos for when his daddy came home. But thats not my luck. He is a great son though, loves his cuddles, which dose make house work hard to do. I really should check his nappy it really dose smell like he's just had his 3rd poo of the day.......Nope just a really smelly fart.

Ok it's 10 to 4 in the afternoon and the bin men have only just turned up. I remember when i was a kid they'd always turn up in the morning, now they seem to turn up whenever they want. Its like the postman they'd always turn up before half 8 and now they turn up when ever they want. But there do still turn up in the mornings and not mid afternoon.
I really didn't sound 24 then, haha, I just find it amazing how much has changed since i was a kid, It makes me think that theres going to be so much that my son will miss out on. He'll never get to watch "the rugrats",  or any children programmes like that. I am amazed with the ones on now days any child can actaully speak, they seem like rubbish. Anyway before i start sounding any older i'm off.

The trying - May 19th 2013

Well as you may tell if you are a regular to my blog that me and hubby are now in the TTC part which means only one thing. AF turned up. Two days late, it's the first time AF has been late since i had my chemical pregnancy in Febuary 2012. Then again before then i was not regular so never knew when that time of month would arrive, using OPKs were pointless as i'd never know how long my cycles were. As long as it takes less then 25 months to fall pregnant again i'll be happy, this blog would go on for a  while if it did.
I'm kinda hoping it takes less then 6 months, I think we are going try for a few months with me just charting. now that i know my cycles have gone back to how it was before i was pregnant with my son, it should be easy-ish to work out ovulation days. Luckly i'm on a site that can indecate ovulation just by going on your temps.

Ok so as i didn't write a post for this blog yesturday lets get on with that, So we had to get up fairly early as we were helping hubbby's mum with the food shop, that afternoon me and his mum went into our local town again, and had another girly afternoon. i do enjoy them afternoons, i brought a test because AF was late. When we got back i did the test and of course it was negative. hubby's mum seemed just as gutted as i was.
We watched eurovision last night, i can't remember if i said this friday or not, but i had a bet on with hubby and his mum and sister that either Denmark or Malta would win and..... Denmark won. If you watched it then you would know that one already, it was a good song. I'm just g;ad the UK did better then last year we actually got into double figures, came 19th out of 26 countries. Bit gutted Ireland came last, i thought it was a pretty good song, the stage performance was not great though which might have had an effect but they did deserve more points then they got.

Last night was a late one. I think it was about 1am by the time i got to sleep. I was rudly woken by cramps at half 4 though and thats when AF decided she was going to show. oh yea i should mention AF is short for aunt flow, which incase you don't know it's another term for period, but in all honesty i think the audiance i have most likly knnows thats. Now that AF is here i can relax more about going out on the 25th, and because AF showed up today i didn't get my tattoo done because of the body being more sensetive at this time of month, so getting that done on the 26th.

I think i've given you enough to read today and hopefully i've made up for not posting yesturday. I do often wonder if people actaully reads my blog or just skims it. i've had over 230 views but wonder how many of those actully read my blog. I know it's not very intresting, besides i a 24 year old mum who has worked since the age of 17 and because of being shy dosen't do a whole lot so my blog is pretty much the same thing all the time. Even when i was working it was the same thing everyday. I i guess thats life really, we do the same things day in day out, sometimes we don't really take much notice of it sometimes we do.

The waiting NTNP - May 17th 2013

Well today is the day that AF is due, from my sums. FF says tomorrow, I have been getting some cramping but not AF type cramps the feel a little different. I've also have some pain in my hips, simular to that of when i was induced, but no where near as painful. AF at the moment is a no show, usually she'll turn up when i go to the loo first thing in the morning, nothing yet, even checked my cervix earler sorry should have TMI'ed that. Heres a bit more for the TMI. I found that my cervix was hard to get to not reaching wise, there was some soft tissue blocking me from feeling my cervix, when i did manage to i couldn't find an opening to it, usually i'd feel it opening by now. I'm not getting my hopes up, like i've said before i learnt from last time not to get them up to high, I know that they seem to be dashed quite a lot.

My little boy was pretty good last night, he had he last bottle at about half 10. He then slept till about 4 where he woke for hugs, After that he woke at 8 for his first bottle. After that he wanted more hugs and we then feel asleep again till 11. It's great that he likes he's sleep. I have spoken to a health visitor about it as i was a little worried, they just told me where he was so small he has a lot of growing to do, and babies grow more when they sleep.

Awww bless my little boy has hiccups at the moment, I was told if they hiccup quite a bit when in the womb they'll hiccup quite a bit outside of it. thats turned out to be true. When i was pregnant with my son before i found out he was a boy, i wanted to know so bad what we were having, so i started looking up old wives tales and chinse gender predictions. Well the chinse gender preidiction was right, not sure how they work it out, and i had most the old wives tales that indecated a boy so some of those were right. Heres a few i remember.

1. you can feel baby on the right side of your womb ( from about 9 10 weeks i found i could feel baby)
2. hair grows quicker on your legs (i found my self going from every 4 days to every 2)
3. Having a lot of heartburn means a hairy baby (ture for me but i do know someone who had a lot and her little has hardly no hair)

There loads more about but they are the ones i remembe from the top of my head.
It's getting close to dinner time here and i still need to do a food shop, so i'm off today that. Remember theres no blog tomorrow as i'm staying a the in-laws. It's eurovision and we watched every year with hubby's mum and sister. I have a bet on them saying i think Denmark could win this one. We will see. If you watch it then you'll know who won before i write it in my blog on sunday. If not then sorry you have to wait till sunday.

The waiting NTNP - May 16th 2013

Feeling pretty emtional today, I feel like i can't do anything right, that i'm not good at anything and all i'm good for is working on tills. In both stores i have worked in i have always been the fastest cashier. which kinda gets me down. i havan't found anything i am good at. Even my hobbies i am no good at. I love photography but i know i need to be a lot better at it. changing the subject from how down i feel today to the test i did this morning.
AF is due tomorrow so i thought well if i'm pregnant testing a  day early won't make much difference so i should have at least a faint line. I didn't even have that, it was a big fat negative. So i think it's safe to say that AF will be turning up tomorrow. I'm just hoping its not going to take another 25 months to fall pregnant. If it did my blog could have quite a few pages. I think it might be a case of try for a few months if nothing happens then go back to using conceive plus. Its what helped to get me pregnant with my son.

On the topic of my son he has been a very smily little boy today, apart from when he cries for his bottle, but which baby is happy when they want food.

I'm dreading tomorrow, i jusr know that i'm going to get up set and hubby will tell me not to be stupid its not like we are actaully trying yet and that theys always next month. Well if AF dose show, which i'm sure she will then we moving into the trying stage.
I don't really have much else to say to be honest apart from i'm staying at the in-laws at the weekend so there won't be a blog on saturday, i'll just have to cramp it all into sundays one, which will be posted in the evening as thats when we will be getting back.

The waiting NTNP - May 15th 2013

Today was a pretty good day even with my little boy waking me up at 5 this morning for cuddles. After that though he didn't wake till 9 which meant....lay in. Had pretty good afternoon as well. We went to Portsmouth and had a look round, brought my boy a little hoodie, in my hubby's favourite colour green. After going into Portsmouth we went to my in-laws. My sister in-law asked if we had started trying yet, to that i said kinda we're doing the whole not trying but not preventing thing.
Ok so this might be a bit of a TMI thing, so theres your warning just in case it is. So sometimes i check my cervix, I've noticed that it changes through out the day. So when i checked it earlier i think i scratched it, as it started to bleed, i'm pretty sure it can't be AF as she's not due till friday and she's never arrived early, the bleeding as also stopped now. 

Asked hubby if i could buy another test today, he of course said no and said stop asking. To that i brought up the topic of when he kept asking to buy a go-kart from work, even though i kept saying no and when i eventually caved in and said yes, he then turned and said good i brought it a week ago. Men they hardly listen and then when we do something simualr they go off on one.

The bread rolls hubby made yesturday turned out pretty well, they were really nice, we ended up having them for dinner. I did remember after i had eatten them that i hadn't taken a photo of them for my blog.  As he made home made bread yesturday, tonight i am making home made chunky chicken soup. My hubby dose not often ask me to make something from scratch unless he likes it. which is great because i actaully like making it and i love the end result. Having cooked something from scratch makes food taste so much better. Anyway as i have started cooking it and i need to check on it i must go. Back tomorrow not sure tomorrow will be very long. I think tomorrows blog might be pretty small, Anyway we'll see.

The waiting NTNP - May 14th 2013

If you are a regular to my blog, then you know every Tuesday i get my son weighed. The last time he was weighed he was around 7lb 2oz. Today he has gone up to 7lb 8.5oz. Although he has put weight on he has also dropped away a little from the 0.4 centile line, Which the health visitor was not really happy about. I was made to feel like i don't feed my son enough. He has a bottle every 3 hours sometimes a little less. I always put in 4oz just in case he wants that little extra. What they don't seem to get is that he takes after his daddy. The lucky git can eat and eat and not put weight on. I think thats one of the reasons why my son is slow to gain the weight. It dosen't help that i am small myself.
This morning i put him in one of his 0-3 months sleepsuits thinking it's going to be far to big for him. Well i was wrong. It's only a little to big. the arms and legs are ever so slightly to long. My hubby loves the sleepsuit because it's green. Green is his favourite colour. We've had two cars both have been green. If it wasn't for the fact we live in marriage quarters he would have painted at least one wall some sort of green colour.

We went out yesturday and got the stuff to do the bread rolls. whether they will turn out as bread rolls is another matter. It is my hubby making them and he dosen't like cooking simple things like chips, or if he cooks pizza i have to double check it is done. So it will be intresting to see how the bread turns out. If he does actaully make them today i will post a photo in tomorrows blog of the results.

I did another test this morning. Being the fact it is still early i kinda knew it would come out neagtive. I thought i saw some sort of shadow on the test, i am hoping that that could be the start of a lovely big fat positive. I can hope. After yesturdays dip in my temp it has now gone back up. Only by 0.1 celuis, i don't think that really means alot though. the cramping has died down the hunger has not though, still always hungry.
No idea if this will work but this is my chart for this cycle.
Ok so the link was not working so i'm hoping by saving the image and insertting it, it will work.

 

I have no idea how to get rid of the boxes below so sorry about that. Thats where the code was to try and put a link to my chart rather then an image.

|| <a href="http://www.fertilityfriend.com" style="font-size:smaller;" >Ovulation Calendar<I have no

< a href="http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/441a26/">My Ovulation Chart<br><img src="http://www.fertilityfriend.com/ticker/441a26/ttc.png" border="0"></a><br /> <a href="http://www.fertilityfriend.com" style="font-size:smaller;" >Ovulation Calendar</a>

<br /> <a href="http://www.fertilityfriend.com" style="font-size:smaller;" >Ovulation Calendar</a

The waiting NTNP - May 13th 2013

I'm having a down day today :(, I just feel like it's not going to happen this month. I am greatful for the little one i have. It did take 25 months to fall pregnant with him but i can't help but feel a little down that i think it might not happen this month. I think it is because i'm worried that it's going to take a long time again.

I tested this moring. I am 10DPO so i had a feeling it would be negative, but i still feel sad that thats how it turned out. I had a temp drop as well. It's still above the coverline but i don't think that means much when you have AF pains. I'm testing every other day till AF shows or i get a BFP. I havan't got my hopes up, I learnt from last time not to. I am kinda hoping that i do get one though. I know i only had my son 10 weeks ago and it was by EMCS. But i have spoken to my doctor about it and he didn't saying anything about not trying or having to wait.

I feel pretty sick today dosen't help that i'm always hungry, i'm thinking i'm feeling sick because i'm worrying myself a bit too much.

Anyway changing the subject. I said last night that hubby is home for the week. Well he hasn't been on his xbox today, he has been on his PC though, but he's been looking up things for us to make. He wants to make bread rolls. Wonder how that will turn out. So i'm now off out to get the bits we need for making the bread.

The waiting NTNP - May 12th 2013

Well yesturday was a pretty long day, by the time we got home i just wanted to go to bed i was so tired. I never nap, usually if i do i find it very hard to sleep at night, but friday afternoon i manage it. Anyway back to yesturday. We had to get up early so we could get down to the in-laws, we were helping them out, well my mum-in-law anyway. My dad-in-law had to work, so we were helping with the shopping. In the afternoon, Hubby went go karting. The place where he works has their own karting track and he helps out there when there is an event on. Me my little one and my mum-in-law went into our local town, and had a girly afternoon. We're brought some more purple hairdye for my hair, This time a different branded on. It did turn out purple, i was just hoping for a brighter purple, i think we both were. Still, it looks ok, better then it did do.

This morning my little one decided he was going to wake up at 4am for hugs and then at 6am to a bottle. Usually he'll wake at 7am for his bottle, but we did give him his last bottle an hour earlier then we usually would. We went to the in laws again today, as it's sunday and we always do on a sunday. It's usally the same thing happening on a sunday. I'm getting a tattoo done next sunday, depending on results of course. I designed this one myself. Took the idea from three different tattoos, mixed them up and put it togeather myself.

 

 



I have hubby home this week, wonder if he'll just play on his xbox the whole time. To be honest latly he hasn't been on it a whole lot, i'm going have to end it here, I have a very hungry little one in my arms.

The Waiting NTNP - May 10th 2013

Early morning today, Well kinda of. Couldn't lay in today, had to take the little one to the doctors for yet another check up. Where he is under the 0.4 centile i have to get him weighed weekly and at the moment see the doctor monthly. Wasn't at the doctors long, He was happy with his weight gain and he is getting closer to the 0.4 centile line. The doctor told me what every health visitor keeps telling me, They want to keep an eye on his weight, they are happy with it but will start to worry if he slows down on the weight gain.

I had a very happy little boy this morning, when i was putting him in his carseat he was smiling away. I do live seeing him smile and making his happy coos. possible a TMI moment here I think he has just done a poo. I could hear me trying to push one out and now i can smell it. My boy dose do some smelly ones. Shame hubby is not due home for another 2 hours. As much as it stinks i'm not going to leave him in a dirty nappy. I do however usally wait about 5 minutes before changing him, that way i know he should defently have fininshed by then.

I can't believe how hungry i am getting latly, it's stupid. Last night i really wanted steak and chips, So i walked to Tesco in the rain and wind to get some. I don't know why i just wanted steak. I made my own seasoning with it as well, Hubby seemed to like it.

I decided last night that instead of waiting till a week after i would be late i'd test when AF is actaully due. At least this way i know if i can drink or not. I don't want to drink if theres a chance i could be pregnant. I don't think i am, even though my temp has not gone below my coverline. In fact it's about 0.2 celuis above my normal. I have a week to wait, you never know i might end up skipping the who TTC blog part and going striaght to The pregnancy part. I am only 7DPO so my temp could change and go down to normal and below my coverline, theres still time for that to happen.

Tomorrow is going to be another early-ish morning, Got to help my mum-in-law with her food shop. My dad-in-law is working so me and hubby are helping. She's not aloud to lift anything heavy and she's not aloud to carry shopping bags so we are helping with that. I'm pretty sure it still dosen't stop her though.

The waiting, NTNP - May 9th 2013

The last two days i've been more hungry then i usally am, the last time that happened i was pregnant. I'm not reading too much into it, I don't really want to get my hopes up for them to be dashed. Little guy was a little lazy this morning. He woke up at ten to five for his morining hugs and then didn't wake up for his morining feed, so i woke him up at quater past seven to feed him, He then went back to sleep after for a little while. Had we not had to go out for baby group today i think he would have slept till about half nine.
At baby group we did a mummy and baby footprint. He's turned out really well, mine not so much. Had to leave it there to dry. When we left to go to baby group the weather was pretty nice, it was a little cloudly but that was about it, but the time we left, it was raining. Silly me didn't bring a coat so i got a little wet. Luckly i always keep the raincover under the pram just incase its needed.

I'm really not sure i can hold off an extra week to test. Not sure what to do about my night out. I am still going whether i'll be drinking or not is a different matter all together. I tried doing a little housework late yesturday afternoon, manage to get half of the living room done before my little one decided that he had to be held. I love the fact that he loves his cuddles, but it makes doing anything hard. Most of the time i have to wait untill hubby comes home before i can get most the houeswork done.

My hubby has finally told me what week he has off, next week he says, but i'm doubting that as he has been saying for a few weeks that he won't tell me, so that's making me think he hasn't got next week off. Only time will tell.

The Waiting NTNP - May 8th 2013

Today is going to be another short one, not alot happens during the week. My little one rolled over again, acatully got it on camrea this time. He's 10 weeks tomorrow and rolling already.  He was smiling quite a bit this morning and making happy noises. Always good to hear.

The wether today is not as good as it has been the last few days, it's pretty cloudy and keeps looking like it's going to rain, oh joys. it's cooler then yesturday which i quite like, don't really like the heat, it makes it so much harder to sleep. I feel so sorry for all the pregnant ladies in the heat we have had. I know it's not as hot as most countries. The UK dose get some funny weather. To go from 14 15 celuis to 20 in  the space of a day, it's a bit...urg to hot. They's rumors saying that this year is going to be a hot one, well this summer anyway. They think because we had a longer winter then we usally do and a little colder then usally, they think the summer will be hotter. Not too hot i hope, but anything is going to be better then last summer's weather.

Tomorrow me and my little guy are going to our local baby group, i'm kinda hoping he rolls over in there too, Show everyone what a clever little guy he is. I've noticed he has started looking round for me when i leave the room now. It's amazing how fast the last few weeks have gone. almost 10 weeks ago i had to be induced because my little guy has IUGR, so he was born at 36+4 weeks, weighing 4lb 6oz. Now at almost 10 weeks hes weighing 7lb 2oz i think it was.

The waiting NTNP - May 7th 2013

It's a pretty warm day today. Got woken up at 6 this morning, little one wanted a bottle, after he had that he fell asleep till about 10, which was great as it meant i got a little lay in. He got weighed this morning and now weighs 7lb 2oz, The health visitor is happy with his weight gained the last couple of weeks but he is still under the 0.4 centile line. As long as he is following the line they said they are happy, its when he starts dropping off that they will get worried. I still have to get him weighed weekly. Can't believe he's almost 10 weeks old.

Took him to baby massage group this afternoon. My little one was smiling when we got that. One of the ladies i talk to there was saying how smilly he is. I said he only said giving proper smiles on sunday and he rolled. Her hubby said what from back to front, he was surprised to hear it was from front to back. Apprantly thats the hardest for them to do. I put him on his front in hope he's roll over and show everyone how clever he is, and it did it. He showed everyone he could roll over. He even tried to hold up his head and chest today when i put him on his tummy.

I've been charting this whole cycle just so i had an idea of when i ovulated. Going on OPKs and temp i have ovulated, i'm now 4DPO. yesturday i had quite a big temp rise. 36.9 usally it's 36.5, its gone down a little 36.7 but it's still over the coverline, which is a good sign i'm hoping. I'm not testing till i'm late, i'm due on on the 17th and i'm going out on the 25th so not testing till the 26th. I've brought a dress for the 25th so don't want to test before then. To be honest i don't see me getting a BFP this cycle anyway. It took so long to fall pregnat with my son, i'm not expecting to fall pregnant first cycle this time.

The waiting NTNP - May 6th 2013

yesturday I said about how my little one rolled over for the first time, well when i was putting him to bed last time i got a proper smile from him. Not a might be gas might be a smile, this was a full on happy smile. It was great seeing that, loved seeing it.

Today we went into Waterloville to try and find a dress for the 25th. I did find one i liked, went and tried it one, it made my boobs and wasit look pretty good, everything else just looked awful. my thighs and hips went to double the size. It really upset me that i'm a pear shape body and struggle to find things i like that actually look good. I ended up finding a lovely black and red dress online though, with a little help from a friend and the hubby. just have to wait for it to turn up. I hope it looks good on me.

apart from that nothing has really happened, so on an end to what was a lovely sunny bank hoilday i'm off to listen to hubby play xbox and the little one snoring.

The waiting - May 5th 2013

Today has been a pretty good day, got my hair dye the red black colour turned out quite nice, the purple i was going to have on the bottom didn't turn out purple, it's a mixture of colours, So won't be uploading of picture of my hair. I went into Portsmouth to try and find a dress for when i go out on the 25th. I did find one, only it was 2 sizes to big and it was the only one they had, so off to Waterlooville tomorrow to see if i can find one. Not that they actaully have a lot there. If i can't find anything i think i'm going to have to dig through all my dresses that i havan't worn in awhile to see if i have something there. To be honest i don't think i do. I'm hoping i can find something, I have something in mind.

We also went to the in-laws today, as we do every sunday for sunday dinner. We were letting our little one have some tummy time on his cousins playmat. I look at him quickly to check he is ok and his on his tummy, I only looked away for a few seconds and when i looked next he was on his back. I'm so gutted i missed the very first time he rolled. I put him on his tummy again, hoping he'll role again for me, and he did, I actaully saw my 9 week old son role from his tummy onto his back. I'm so proud of my little boy. He was born early and is doing so well. He's now in up to 1 month clothing and growing out of them fast.

I don't really have much else to say, it being a sunday not alot usually happens. I did go off on a rant earlier saying people should really clean up after their dogs. The last thing i want to do is tred in their dog's mess in the middle of a town center. It's stinks and it's horrible.

The waiting - May 4th 2013

I often wonder if anyone actaully reads blogs or do they just seem read. I actaully read something pretty intresting the other day about a famous musican stood in a subway i think it was in the US and played his voilin. He was playing something that was meant to be well known. A few people stopped listened for a little while and then hurried off, one person put money in his case without stopping to listen, a child stopped to listen but was hurried on by his mum, a few other children also stopped to listen but were also hurried on by their parents. In an hour the musican made $31, the piece he played was worth $3 million. The musican and even had a sold out venue the night before, one seat being worth $100. The article then went on to say that if we didn't take time to notice something like a famous musican playing a famous piece of music then what else are we missing, what else are we not taking notice of.
After reading that i thought theres a lot of things i do and take no notice of what it is i'm actaully doing. I used to walk to work without thinking of where it is i was going, i did it so many times i never thought about where i was going. I often go shopping and there would be people in the shopping centers playing their guitars and singing, I rarely take any notice of what it is there are playing or who it is thats playing. I guess what the article was saying was if we don't take time to notice the small things we could end up missing the bigger things.

Ok so one to today. It was a great day, our little woke up at about 7ish for a feed like he does then went back to sleep till about 10 half 10, which meant me and hubby got to lay in. We drove to his parents this afternoon, as me, his mum, his sister, my little one and  his sister's little one had a afternoon out. We went to our local town. I got my son a really cute Tigger baby grow, a little outfit and a hat ready for the summer. I brought some hair dye as well. My hair is in a good need of a dye, the purple i had before as all faded and just looks horrible. So i'm going a redy black with purple tips. If i can pick up enough confindice to take a picture of it when it's done i will do.
This even my in-laws looked after our little of for about 2 hours while me and hubby went for a meal out and played a game of bowling. For a saturday it really wasn't busy. I was quite surprised to be honests. It really was a good day. Much needed day out.

The past few days i've been talking about how i would like to start trying but kinda didn't want to just yet. Well a bit of TMI moment here, but the hubby dosen't like using condoms he preferes it without, i'm not on the pill as it took 25 months to full pregnant after coming of, so we ended up doing the deed without one. I'm not expecting to full pregnant so quick, thats just not my luck.
Anyway after a lovely long day i'm off to bed, in for another long day tomorrow, need to find a dress for the 25th and hopefully getting my hair done as well. Maybe monday will be less busy hehe.

The waiting - May 3rd 2013

I don't really have much to say today, most of the time i end up repeating myself. I did talk to my husband about maybe starting to try for our 2nd baby this month, he really wants to wait until next month, waiting till next month would possible give the same, close due date that our son had. I don't mind that, being pregnant in the winter wasn't too bad. And only being a few weeks gone in the summer wasn't bad either, but then again we had a really bad summer last year. It was the second wettest year on record, so you could image what the summer was like. I'm pretty sure at one point for about 3 4 weeks not a day went past where it didn't rain, i think that made things easier.

Me and my husband went on our first hoilday last year, we booked it for June thinking the weather would be better by then. It was for the first day, the wether was lovely not too hot not too cold not a cloud in the sky, and then the rest of the hoilday it rained almost everyday, on the days it didn't rain it was cloudy, We still had a lot of fun though, Staying in a tent when you have tree brances falling 6 7  feet away from you was scarey. The day we left was lovely weather, which was a shame also being stuck in traffic and then having to wait 4 hours for our ferry wasn't fun. But the hoilday it self was.

At the moment i am finding the whole waiting thing pretty hard, i think it's more because i know we are going to start trying soon, last time it wasn't so bad. we had talked about kids but not really when we'd start trying. It was only about a week or 2 before we started trying for our that we decided. So there wasn't so much of a waiting. I only have another 2 3 weeks to wait, and i have some things planned, so hopefully that we speed time up.

The waiting - May 2nd 2013

Today is the day i've been dreading since my little boy was born, jabs. He had his first set of jabs this afternoon, he cried his little heart out, mot for too long though which made it so much easier to cope with. I gave him some capol when we left and he seems ok, he had his jabs 2 hours ago. he's had he's feed as usally and is now sleeping on my chest. He seems his normal self which is great, i'm just worried he'll be restless tonight. Only time will tell.

I handed in my notice at work today, to say i won't be coming back after mat leave,  my manager knew that anyway, he said that he knew i wouldn't and that it was a shame that i wasn't coming back as they could have done with me coming back, as i'm the fastest cashier there.
Always nice to know you did well at work. Customers always did say i was fast and for that reason they liked coming to me. I am gutted i'm not going back i loved working there (most days).

Even though we are not trying untill my next cycle or till he's 3 month, i still did all the charting and opk testing. I had my first positive opk today my temp dip and cervix postion match that as well, sorry that might have been a bit of a tmi moment. Like i said yesturday i am in two minds if whether i want to start trying for our second now, our first is only 9 weeks old and i did have to get induced and have an EMCS, which is making me want to wait till he is 3 months. I am also going out on the 25th, which means by that point if it was to work first time i would have had a positive pregnancy test by then. I think it will just be best to wait, i would love to have a january baby, if i was to fall pregnant this cycle baby would be due on the 24th, 2 month before my little ones due date was.

I still have a sleeping baby on my chest so i'm going to enjoy the cuddles before the husband comes home.

The waiting - May 1st 2013

I have a poorly baby on my hands today, my little guy has a bit diarrhea, he hadn't had a poo since monday morning i think thats why he has it today bless him. He's done well for a premi baby, first time he's not been well has he 9 weeks tomorrow.

At the moment i'm in two minds, i want to ask hubby if we can start trying now being the begining of the month and if my cycles have returned to normal then i should ovualte tomorrow or saturday, but on the other hand i'm going out on the 25th with a few girls in my area, and will more then likly have a drink or two and i don't really want to drink if there would be a chance of me being pregnant.
I was pregnant last time i had a drink but i would have concieve 2 or 3 days before hand so there was no way of me knowing at that time. I sometimes think it was because of that, that my little boy got IUGR. but i'm only 5ft my self and a UK 10, and i only put on 15lbs in my whole pregnancy. The only time i actaully wanted to put weight on and i struggled, people didn't even notice i was pregnant untill i was about 32 33 weeks. I did love having a small tidy bump though.

 

That's the biggest i got, this was the last baby bump picture i took before i got induced at 36+4 weeks.

It was lovely having a small bump, it meant i could just about fit in all my favourite tops and i got hardly any stretch marks, i thinking useing coco butter helped though.